Movie Review – Blade Trinity

Somewhere along the line we really stopped pretending these movies were anything other than MTV special’s and just started playing some kick-ass music, showing some kick-ass special effects, with some ass-kicking characters with kick-ass one liners, and that is exactly what Blade Trinity delivers. The action scenes, while they rage, are exhilirating and handled with a surprising amont of care and grace. The talking scenes are attrocious and you may be confused when laughing as to whether you are laughing at the film or whether the film was trying to be self-referentially ironic.

The iPod product placement is outrageous and I continue to wonder whether I am the only one bothered by this. Action movies are not a product, like a coke (or an iPod), that gets consumed and disappears. They are a product of our society and they form part of our history. When I was younger every Friday night I used to watch an old action movie, and sure I saw a lot of ass-kicking but I also was (sub-conciously, I was like 12 or something) able to learn about my history and the history of movies. We should be proud of our culture, and if we are not then we should make better shit. It is a massive part of human nature to want to leave something of value behind. And while Blade Trinity will not replace Casablanca or The Muppets Christmas, I do believe it has artistic value. That the authors can sabotage their own work to make an extra buck makes me sick, right in my sick bone.

Another thing (this paragraph has nothing to do with Blade)! Everyone cares how much a movie grosses now? When did we collectively become that annoying accountant who only cares about profit? The highest grossing movie of all time is Titanic. Also on the list is LOTR, Harry Potter, Star Wars and every other hyped-up big budget movie. The gross of a movie does not determine a movie’s cultural value. I do.

If your starting to think I have completely cracked I managed to find someone on the internet who is saying a similar thing, expressed much better. Just please, please give me something that is not a sequel or a prequel, is not an adaptation of a book is not an adaptation of a radio host or a children’s video game. Make up something new, for god’s sake we have been doing it for 2000 years and there is a good chance it will succeed. Say you adapted it from some obscure comic book and people will instantly claim they have been long time fans.

If you have some money and are looking for awesome, see Blade. 3 leamas.

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